"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." -Mae West 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

is this thing on...hello!! -check, check-

Testing!!! TESTING! Yes it has happened, brace yourselves; I have managed to create myself a lil' blog action. In between diaper changes, drinking wine baking and cleaning, I have managed to find time in my week. -i feel so modern now- For several reasons, at the top of the list, with a bullet, is sheer boredom. Secondly, I like to write, no strike that I LOVE to write.

I thought to myself, "Bridgett this could be the perfect medium to release the inner most thoughts that fuel the cogs of my genius mind my brain."

The other reason is primarily to annoy with my borderline psychotic rants; that and I have been writing a book for about three months... give or take. Then one day it occurred to me - ::light bulb::- I should share some random excerpts to gain perspective on my work. The idea is, I post and you comment, mostly nice stuff would be good.

For now I am approximately 80ish pages into the book; I know it doesn't sound like much but I feel as though I have accomplished a feat akin to scaling Mount Everest with the daily domestic duties that beckon me. So humor me won't you? They say it's quality over quantity. ::sigh:: It is a passion of mine, but alas a monumental undertaking. One of which I pray has a decent outcome.

Shortly, I plan to submit the manuscript to a few publishers I have already selected. Notwithstanding the response I may or may not receive, I think I may continue to publish as an eBook. We shall see, I guess. Which brings me to another reason for creating this blog, I just starting looking into artists who may design a cover for me; since my proverbial "talent" ends with writing. Let's leave it at that shall we? So if any of my readers know someone or if you are an artist and would be willing to help me with this endeavor, I would like to speak with you. I am, of course, willing to pay; should we come to a reasonable price.

Enough about that, I wanted to tell you a little something about my wonderful family; and share a little glimpse of my swirling torrent of lunacy. My name is Bridgett, I am 35ish a proud mother of three boys. I am a lawyer/stay at home mom. I went through about ten years of college to become a lawyer only to realize how much I loathe the profession. Although from my years of academia and teaching, I was thankfully able to fine tune my writing. Therefore, it wasn't all for not and that's how I look at it. This perspective prevents me from randomly lashing out irrationally.

I went to college for ten years, yes you read that right. Ten lousy rotten years and what I have to show for it, four degrees that are now collecting dust in my "horderesque" type basement. Except for the big fancy one that hangs on my wall -that one says "Doctor". That's just fancy schmancy talk for overpriced dickhead. I have a degree in computer science but I can't figure out how to turn that bastard widget button -------> into an image file. Blast!!!!

Truth of the matter is, law school was fun. It was much like a cult and I swear upon admission you lose about ten percent of your forward thinking brain matter. Yet, we are supposed to be the great legal minds of our country? The irony would astound you, as study groups would nearly break out into fist fights over hypothetical fact patterns and which appropriate rule of law applies; grown adults would bicker like junior high students about matters such as, "Did you give so and so my study guide, how dare you!!"

Regrettably, I must admit, however, that I would rather re-do law school a hundred times than attempt another full time swing at the practice. I am happy to take on cases part-time, but anything more than that would bring on frontal lobe brain hemorrhaging accompanied by foaming at the mouth and numb appendages. So I figured, why not write? It's what I love. Here I am, and there that is -in a nutshell-.

My offspring includes:

Myles Zappa - Revision #1 - 06.13.99. Myles middle name is Zappa -as in Frank Zappa- because he was born during one of my "finding myself" moments in time . Oddly it suits him, but honestly not one of my best judgments in parenthood. I was twenty something, so sue me. We are all morons in our twenties.....seriously. I can say that with confidence since I survived mine; by some stroke of a miracle. Myles is a comedian and he makes me belly laugh often, and for this trait I am thankful.

Jacob (a.k.a the Cob) - Revision #2 - 02.12.03. The Cob is my red headed imp, he is literally a smaller version of me. I am surprised he doesn't have permanent slap marks gentle stroke-like patterns surrounding his mouth for all the times he has said the word "whatevs". He is extremely strong willed and stubborn headed. At times this may be a great trait upon entering adulthood, but not when you are eight years old and attend Catholic school. Oh Cob, what am I going to do with you, I do love him so.

Jameson - Revision #3 - 09.11.10. Jameson is my youngest son and I have to admit, his adorableness overwhelms me daily. I am what most psychiatrists would call, "obsessed"...ahemmm. I mean clearly he is the most adorable baby in modern day existence. On a daily basis I continue to be perplexed as to how no one else sees this!?

This is my husband, Mr. James Bird, and he is the most amazing man alive. Ladies, you are out of luck because I snagged him off the market for good on June 11th, 2011. Na na na na na!! Jim is a saint because he listens to my daily rantings. You folks are lucky enough to only passively read my thoughts, this poor guy LIVES it everyday. Imagine that, imagine the mental fortitude of that very undertaking. This is what I am talking about here, people. the.man.is.a.saint.period.

Plus he has a giant penis great heart, and is willing to do anything for friends or family. He is my best friend and I would not be half the person I am today without him. He will forever be a part of me. -end sappy rantings-

This is our little clan. Posting more soon. Follow me if you like, more to come.

ciao ~b

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